"WHITE MEN LISTENING TO JOSEPH"

“WHITE MEN LISTENING TO JOSEPH”

            Because the world seems so disastrously patriarchal, I usually don’t like to start with men in the Christmas story.  However, this year I want to start with Joseph because he has a lot to offer to men in these days (especially white men like me). I also want to start here because we are in a time in this country when white men seem determined to keep ourselves at the center of life, as witnessed in the shenanigans of Donald Trump and those who elected him and continue to support him.  Joseph offers us a way to start moving out of toxic masculinity.

            Joseph does not appear much in the Bible – his story is found mainly in Matthew 1:18-25, although Matthew’s genealogy that begins that Gospel seems determined to establish that Joseph is the (adopted) father of Jesus.  Luke’s Gospel tells us that Mary agrees to become the mother of Jesus, placing herself in danger of the death penalty because she will become pregnant by someone other than her fiancé.  The Biblical witness is that Joseph is a good liberal – he will not accept the death penalty, but he will not challenge the system either.  He decides to quietly send Mary back to her father and let her deal with her transgression.

            He receives a different vision from God, though, and he decides to challenge the system.  He decides to take Mary as his wife and adopt Jesus as his son.  In doing this, he offers three lessons to us males on how to begin to find liberation from our captivity to patriarchy.  First, he listens to voices other than his own, especially voices from the margins.  Accustomed to doing “man-splainng,” he decides to listen to Mary and hears God’s voice to him from her.  Many of us males believe that we know so much about others, especially women, and this Biblical story reminds us that we are called to close our mouths and open our ears and hearts in order to listen and to receive the stories of others.  This is the first lesson on the path towards liberation.  

            Second, Joseph not only listens to other voices – he begins to act on them too.  He decides to take a chance and move out of the center of life towards the margins.  Instead of telling Mary how terrible she is for getting pregnant by someone else, instead of beating Mary up or having her executed for her offending him, he goes to the margins of life, where Mary and other women are imperiled and dominated and put in constant danger.  Here, he hears a different voice, a voice that astonishes him – God is not at the center of life with men.  Rather, God is at the margins of life, calling all of us at the center to move towards the margins.  The Biblical story is honest here.  This movement of Joseph to the margins is costly.  He will be forced to watch the baby born on the streets, because he is homeless in Bethlehem.  His life is in danger, when he flees with his wife Mary and his adopted son Jesus, flees from the government soldiers who come to execute the boy and his family.  He and his family become illegal immigrants.  His movement to the margins imperils his status and his life, yet he finds life because of it.  Joseph’s second lesson for us is that we are called to move to the margins of life, so that we can hear a new voice and find our own authentic selves, not the toxic males that society convinces us that we must be.

            Joseph’s third lesson is that he uses his patriarchal power to protect Mary and his adopted son.  He gives them the shelter of male privilege, even when his former self would tell him that they do not deserve it.  No elders in the village come to execute Mary because Joseph gives her shelter.  A single woman traveling with a baby as an illegal immigrant faces many dangers, but Joseph mitigates some of them by giving them male protection.  By Matthew’s account, someone (maybe Joseph himself) has given them shelter in a house – it is here that the magi come to visit and acknowledge the power of this baby and this story.   Joseph learns to use his power not to attack women but rather to protect and nurture them.

            So, as we consider this Christmas story from the male point of view, let us turn towards Joseph and learn from him.  Let us swim deeply in his waters of movement and strength and power, and let us seek to follow his star.  The world would look a lot different if we did.