"DADDY'S HOUSE"

“DADDY’S HOUSE”

Several weeks ago when I preached at Antioch AME Church in Stone Mountain (via Reverend Vandy Simmons), I was privileged to meet many great people.  One of them was a Black woman named Mildred J. Mills, who bought a copy of my book “She Made a Way.”  She also gave me a copy of her book “Daddy’s House: A Daughter’s Memoir of Setbacks, Triumphs and Rising Above Her Roots.”  She indicated that our backgrounds were very similar. 

I read “Daddy’s House,” and it is a remarkable story.  Ms. Mills was one of seventeen children born to her parents in rural Alabama, in the early 1950’s. She describes it this way in the beginning of her book: “I was the third of Abraham and Mildred Billups’s seventeen children, born in Wetumpka, Alabama – a small, dusty community in the sticks of Elmore County.  Our white cinderblock house sat at the dead end of a red dirt road that ran straight through the woods at the butt end of the earth.”

Her book is the story of her wrestling with the demons in her life – racism, sexism, poverty, and a domineering and violent father.  She made the decision early on to find a way to get out of the oppression of rural Alabama during neo-slavery days, and the beginning of her book is her wavering at the front of her house as an 18 year old, right before she is to make the trip north to a college in Ohio.  She knows that she stands at the precipice of a monumental decision, and she decides to go.  Like the journey of Odysseus, she encounters many twists and turns, and she encounters her own share of monsters, as did the mythical traveler.  

Born in 1951, she grew up in a rural and racist and neo-slavery South.  One unusual aspect of her life is that though her family was poor, her parents owned the land on which they lived.  That rootedness gave her a sense of place and stability that many Black families did not have in the South.  The menacing white presence was always there, but her daily life was lived in the necessity of producing crops that her family could use to make money to live on. 

She and her siblings did the many chores on the farm that made it a viable place, especially picking cotton.  As one of the older sisters, she helped to raise her younger siblings, and they all lived in fear of her volatile father, who dominated her mother and who used the rod whenever he thought that it was necessary – and he seemed to think that it was necessary a lot.  That same dominating spirit, however, made him a formidable force who white people left alone.  In an earlier era, he might have been targeted for lynching, but like Ida B. Wells, his persona was so fierce that he exuded the mantra: “if you come for me, I’m taking as many of you with me as I can.”

     Ms. Mills encountered many obstacles on her journey, as she struggled to free herself from some of the cement blocks that sought to weigh both her body and her spirit down.  She was used and abused, but through it all, she found a way to make a way out of no way.  Throughout her fine book, she weaves the complexities of her life and her journey into an epic tale.  As I told her when we talked about her book, “I can’t believe that you made it out.  What an iron resolve you had.”

Ms. Mills recently interviewed me on her podcast “My Cotton Patch Moment,” and it will air on March 18.  Here is the link to it:  https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/my-cotton-patch-moment/id1676455331

During the interview, she noted that I was the first white person who she had ever encountered who would admit that they had racism in them.  We talked about how important it was to people classified as “white” to be able to deny the existence of racism, especially racism in each of us as individuals.  As my long-time friend David Billings put it in his fine book, we are in “deep denial.”

I thoroughly enjoyed meeting Ms. Mills, in reading her book, and in our conversation in the podcast.  I look forward to getting to know her better and to learning from her.  In the meantime, find her fine book “Daddy’s House, and get ready for an intriguing (and harrowing) story.